After three hours, the canvas remained blank. He had washed it in a soft golden hue, a good base tint for a painting full of her favorite colors. But beyond preparing the canvas, Tsu Lai had made no progress. He set the brush down and sighed. After his complete failure in Switzerland, Aterat had been furious. He had expected to be beaten, or perhaps locked in a dark cell for a few days. But the penalty she had chosen for him was far worse than anything he had anticipated.
Tsu Lai was banned from her presence. He was free to wander the compound, but he was not permitted to come within range of her sight or hearing for any reason, until she decided otherwise. In addition, he was not allowed to enter any room or corridor which was adjacent to a room or corridor in which she was present, and that included the gardens. It had been months, and still she had not called him, had not sent him any message, had not lifted his punishment. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take. It was trying his sanity.
He had done his best. He didn’t know what else he could have done to complete his mission, without risking his own life and hers. She knew this, but Aterat cared only for results, and a failure was a failure.
More than anything, he longed for her forgiveness. He couldn’t stand knowing that she was angry with him, and it was painful to be apart from her for so long.
He had been working hard to please her since his punishment began. He couldn’t approach her or speak to her, so instead he had been creating things for her.
He had torn up an older corner of her garden that had begun to bore her, and had remade it into beautiful grotto, with a shady canopy of flowering vines, a painted wooden swing, a carpet of soft green moss, and a hedge of her favorite bright pink flowers. He had heard that, since he had finished it, Aterat had taken quite a liking to that part of the garden and was frequently found rocking in that wooden swing with a book in her hands. Still, she had not forgiven him.
Since then he had spent each day trying to find new ways to win back his place by her side. He had written her poetry, prepared her favorite foods, arranged splendid bouquets of fresh flowers . . . he had even ordered a custom recreation of a favorite gold bracelet that had been lost in the chaos of a riot during the Sepoy Mutinies. He knew she was pleased by these gifts. He could feel how happy they made her. But even so, she hadn’t yet ended his punishment.
Well, she had always been strong-willed. Beautiful, intelligent, powerful . . . and very proud, and very stubborn. He suspected that she had already decided on a minimum amount of time for this separation, and that no action on his part could persuade her to reduce his sentence. However, so long as he continually pleased her and did nothing to upset her, he was certain that she would not be inclined to extend the period beyond her pre-set minimum. And there was a low, selfish, stubborn part of himself that wanted her to fully regret exacting such a harsh punishment when he had clearly done nothing wrong.
Tsu Lai shook his head and chuckled quietly at himself. Their disagreements always seemed to go this way. She would get angry and chastise him for daring to question her opinions, while he would remain silently indignant and secretly hold on to his belief that it was only her pride that prevented her from seeing that his opinion was, in fact, the correct one. If he stepped outside himself for a moment and tried to look at these situations objectively, it would be clear that both of them were being ridiculous. They deserved each other. Proud, obstinate, completely unyielding. That description could be applied to either of them.
And he knew that she was probably regretting her decision to banish him, even now. They needed each other, whether she wanted to admit it or not.
Today he had locked himself in his room with canvas and paint, determined to produce something spectacular that would make her forget her anger and call him to her. It was an ambitious endeavor, and three hours later he still hadn’t formed an adequate image in his mind. All he could think of was how painfully this separation was torturing him.
A soft, cool breeze drifted in through his open window, carrying the scents of the garden and the pond. He moved to the window and looked out over the grounds. Glancing toward the new grotto, he caught a glimpse of the hem of Aterat’s favorite yellow silk skirt following her in. He couldn’t see her through the canopy of vines, and he found himself wishing that he had come to the window just a moment sooner, so that he could have seen her. It filled him with fresh longing. He needed to be by her side.
Suddenly an image began to form in his mind’s eye. Tsu Lai returned to his easel and began mixing blue and gray paint. This punishment couldn’t possibly last forever. Surely she would need him again soon, and she would have to forgive him then.
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